Healthy Relationships

If only we could learn this stuff and remember it before we have a relationship that matters!

Better late then never works for me. Having worked with teens and couples about to be married, married and separated there are definitely some things that stand out if you want to maintain a great to long term relationship.

First some basic values listed by 15-16 year olds as their number one in no particular order:

• Trust
• Communication
• Respect

Other important ones mentioned were:

• A sense of humour
• Honesty
• Freedom
• Friendship

Also, know that sarcasm is always a put down and not funny -they may laugh with you but it will hurt.

Don't ask for an honest answer then spit the dummy and throw your toys out of the cot because it isn't the one you wanted. Listen, share how you feel about it and why.

SUPER HOT TIPS -if you feel any of these, take a step back and share what is going on for you. You will be more likely to start an argument or conflict.

• Check yourself : Am I Tired - Stressed - Hungry - Sad - going through change ?

Talk about it with your friend when you see them.

• If you don't think you are safe -you aren't

•  When you spend more time worried and learning about their issues you need to step back -this is called co-dependency and leads to a narrow focus and manipulation.
• You can expect that at different times you will give a bit and they will give a bit.